In what experts are calling, "a thing that has certainly happened", Peter S. Beagle, author of the critically acclaimed book The Last Unicorn, has issued several bold declarations in the form of signatures, inadvertently spoiling the plot of his story for readers everywhere.
"I'm pretty sure it's impossible to spoil a story published in 1968." An unknown pony was heard saying shortly before rolling her eyes and stomping away. Try telling that to the pair known only as "Dat Fucking Writefag" [sic] and "Ghiro", now forever consigned to know that Rarity is the most fabulous unicorn
and that Lyra "will not turn into a human". Naturally, the owners of these new altered novels were unavailable for comment, but one Rarity T. Unicorn had the following to say:
"I would just like to thank Mr. Beagle for his
obvious taste and refinement in recognizing my grace, sophistication, and charm. I may not be the last of anything, but that's no excuse not to dress in style? Hm? What's that? Hush Rainbow Dash, can't you see I'm--" [editor's note: the full quote continues for eleven and a half pages. For the full version, please buy our printed version!]
When spoken to about the signatures, Lyra held up a small sign explaining she had Laryngitis, and proceeded to make a face so sad that the universe itself was moved with pity.
