Greetings to all of my faithful subjects!

Hello everypony,

I hope you are all finding your day to be absolutely marvelous and filled with endless amounts of friendship! As you know, it is my royal duty to ensure the well being of all ponies across Equestria, and seeing the smiles on the faces of fillies and colts alike makes the tireless work I do raising and lowering the sun even more worthwhile!

Now some of you may have heard of a certain...event today. Unfortunately, the return of Princess Luna has gotten in the way of some extremely important preparations, and to top that off, my four avatars of death, famine, plague, and war are nowhere to be found. Sadly, without their assistance, I will be unable to burn every single one of you to a crisp and rip the world asunder until at least next year, probably some time around August.

I hope this doesn't inconvenience anypony! Maybe next time I won't be such a klutz :D

Your Glorious, totally non-tyrannical leader
Princess Celestia

P.S. Luna says hi
P.S.S. Would someone PLEASE send a new mailmare?
P.S.S.S. I'm bumping the New Rapture up to October, this idiot is driving me INSANE!
P.S.S.S.S. The GREAT and PO...Queen Celestia can add as many S's and P's as she damn well pleases!